Money, Honey

They say 50% of marriages end in divorce. And the most popular reason is due to money. Before I got married, I thought that was crazy! Why would anyone fight over money? Once you get married, everything is equal. Everything is split down the middle. There is no "mine." Only "ours."

Oh, how young and stupid I was!

Mr. Ho and I rarely argue. When we do, it's usually over the same things:

1. Me nagging him to do stuff around the house
2. Money

The first is pretty obvious. I like the house a certain way. I like things to be put away and not just hidden behind closet doors or drawers. I like things neat, tidy, organized. My friends in high school used to call my mom the Vacuum Lady. I have adopted that moniker and I own it. While I don't vacuum anymore (Mr. Ho does it), I still want it to be done often. We have a shedding monster for a dog and now a little one who is rolling all around it *dies*. I think the man should do the vacuuming, taking out the trash/recycling, and the landscaping. And any other unpleasantries like unclogging the toilet.

I don't have a 9-5 so I do not experience the awful commutes or the terrible bosses. But I've had a job since I was 13-27. I know what it's like to work. And guess what? I now work A LOT more than I used to. I don't have the luxury of a lunch break or talking to my co-workers about nonsense. Not only do I wake up earlier than I used to, I go to bed later. I am on my feet all day long. I am feeding, cleaning, entertaining, and soothing a baby. And on top of that, cooking her meals and our dinner. I also clean the house, run errands, and make sure this house is under control. I know, it sounds fluffy and it sounds easy. But it's not. It's NEVER ENDING. There is always SOMETHING to do. Something that could be washed, polished, folded, put away, scrubbed. When I'm doing dishes, I'm thinking about the bottles I have to clean next. After bottles, it's the kitchen that needs to be tided. After the kitchen, it's the floor that needs swiffering. After the floor, it's the playmat that needs wiping. After the playmat, it's sorting the laundry. Get it? Yeah, I know I'm technically resting by blogging right now, but that's besides the point.

That's why I have to give it up to all the ladies who have a job AND have children. STADIUM STATUS!!!

I'm blessed. Blessed to have a husband who makes a living good enough so I can stay home and raise my child. So as much complaining as I do, I have to remind myself that my situation is a gift. But that doesn't mean I don't want some credit, too!

Which leads me to the next point: MONEY.

Money really is evil. It really is power.

It really is a lot easier to spend money when you're not the one earning it. You don't have the same instinct to guard it because you didn't bust your balls for it. I respect and love my husband for working hard to bring the dough. But sometimes I think because he works for it, it wields a certain level of power. He says I am imagining things and I can spend it in any way I want. And I know I have that choice, but seriously? Could I really just go and buy all the shoes, bags, clothes, jewelry that I want? NO. I don't call Mr. Ho everytime I swipe that debit card. But I still feel the need to discuss or tell him if I'm going to purchase something that is specifically for my enjoyment. I guess in the end, I just have this nagging sense of guilt.

We've come to a temporary solution. We have opened a separate bank account just for me. We discuss what expenses I will incur over the month and we transfer the appropriate funds. This way, I will take note of what and when I spend. And if I do want to make a big purchase, then I can save for it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Call it what it is. It's basically an allowance. But for some reason, this "allowance" makes me feel a lot better.

Let's face it. As much as society has advanced, men and women are still not 100% equal. There are still certain stigmas and prejudices we have to overcome. So if I had to give advice to my single ladies and my daughter, it would be to save your money. When you get married, keep an account (however small) for yourself. As long as you are open and honest about it being there, there shouldn't be a problem. It's just nice to not only have something for yourself, but to have the peace of mind of knowing that you hold a bit of financial power as well.

Don't get me wrong. I'm confident in my marriage and my husband. This is just something that I sometimes think of when I know I'm going to be spending a lot of money. HAHA!