Advice From Your Neighborhood Colonoscopy Office Nurse

If constipated. warm up your prune juice in the microwave.  To the point where it's a bit steamy.  

Routine Follow-Up

Hello Party People!  

I have not been the best blogger these days.  Suppose I just don't have that much to talk about.  Hence, blogs about farts.  I have stooped that low.  Here are just some random thoughts and happenings:

* My mother is in town.  She's going in for a colonoscopy tomorrow.  Everyone send ood vibes and prayers her way.  It's a pretty routine procedure but she doesn't handle anesthesia that well.  Today, I've been helping her take her meds to clear her out and it made me think - when did I become an adult?  I'm taking care of my mom and not the other way around.  She looked at some of my recent pictures and told me I am starting to age.  And that we should go buy some wrinkle cream.  Fabulous.

* Mr. Ho and I have caught up on all of Entourage.  Now I know why Jeremy Piven won all those awards - he's hilarious.  They smoke a lot of weed on this show.  It kinda makes me want to smoke and do chinese fire drills in the middle of the road.  Or get paranoid at every noise I hear and think the cops are at my door.  And eat an entire pizza by myself.  Not that I have experienced these things... 

* We had our third book club meeting for The Shack.  It's been on the bestseller weeks forever and it is a good read, but I didn't LOVE LOVE it.  Right now, I'm reading Empire Falls.  And What to Expect When You're Expecting.  And no, I'm not expecting.  

* When does Twilight come out on DVD?  Still haven't seen that one.  But did catch a matinee of Confessions of  Shopaholic (loved!).  It was nothing like the book but all the bright colors and sparkly things were right down my alley.  Netflix delivered Body of Lies (ok) and Ghostown (such a fan of Ricky Gervais).  

* Speaking of sparkly things, I went to the International Jewelry Show at the Dulles Expo Center this past weekend and it was amazing.  Sparkly things everywhere you look.  I went there with the mindset that I would only look and not buy ANYTHING.  Of course, I bought the most out of everyone I was with.  Seriously, shopping is a problem for me.

* Rocky is doing quite well on the new food - Orijen 6Fish.  Although, now our pantry smells a bit fishy.  And sometimes his butt smells fishy too.  But the good news is that he loves the food - will eat it plain, without yogurt.  AND his poops are nice and firm!  Dumplings, actually.  

* Best news ever - mom and I found the most PERFECT bedside lamps for the bedroom at Homegoods.  They are so beautiful and match so well.  And the price!  Don't even get me started.

Guess I had more to write about than I thought...

Inform Me

Do I have a sign somewhere on my body that says, "Feel Free to Fart Near Me?"

It happened again!

This time at the gym.  A little more understandable because you exert a lot of energy and maybe it slipped out.  This time, some old man who was stretching, let one out.

And then he kept staring at me, probably to see if I noticed.

Yes, old man.  I NOTICED.  I felt like I ate it.  It was disgusting.

Common Courtesy

If you are standing in line, with people waiting behind you, there's something you should never do.  NEVER fart.

I'm standing in line at the Costco register, and this chick moves up to the cashier.  I take her place and put my items on the conveyer belt.  I merely breathe and intake the stankiest smell ever.

Grimacing, I stare at the chick and she's just smirking. 

It's one thing when you let one out in public, but into open space.  Not within close proximity to people with their olfactory senses in tact.

Jerk.

For the Love of Rocky

If you, or anyone you know, feed your dog Canidae, please stop immediately and find another food:

http://www.consumeraffairs.com/pets/canidae.html

Rocky's poop has been very yellow and soft.  I did find a little trace of blood a few weeks ago, but passed it off as constipation.  He has been vomiting like once a week.  Definitely have noticed paw licking and dry skin.  Fortunately, he hasn't shown any signs of lethargy - boy is still relentless as ever.  

I am up late because I am so agitated and worried.  I am so upset that I did not pay attention to this earlier.  But we are immediately taking him off of Canidae and switching foods.  I went on the bulldog forum (http://bulldogdomain.com/index.php) and saw positive reviews for Orijen 6 Fish.  It is pricier than Canidae, but I would rather feed him nutritious, expensive food than have horrible, expensive vet bills.  

Honestly, Rocky annoys me at times and his shedding pisses me off.  But if anything happened to that fat boy, I would be completely and utterly heartbroken.  Please say a little prayer that the food does not take a toll on him and that this new food is a success! Team Rocky!

How can you not love a dog that sits in a sexy pose?