Perspective/Happy Early Mother's Day

I just wanted to give a special shout-out to ALL the mom's out there.  Young and old.  Stay-at-home mommies and working mommies.

You will never know the words "it is the hardest job out there" until you have lived it.  It is ALL-consuming.  You sacrifice every part of you, physical, mental, and emotional to raising your child.  Every decision you make revolves around them and their ultimate happiness.

I pray every night for her safety, happiness and well-being.  I never want to pressure her to be that straight-A girl.  There is more to life than academics and extra-curricular activities.  I just want her to do the very best at whatever she does.  This life is too short and too fast to be hell-bent on studying your youth away.  Good grades don't guarantee some big-shot career (here's looking at me).

Having a child changes your perspective.  Especially on your parents.  I keep thinking about my youth when there was a "moment" with my mom.  The time she wrote me a letter when I went off to college.  The time she walked out on my piano recital because I messed up a million times (omg, embarrassed just thinking about it).  The times we fought.  The times she told me she was proud of me.  The times she would check in on me after I was asleep - I always heard her.  Now I understand her perspective of me, as HER child.  The hopes she had for me.  My pain is her pain.  My joy is her joy.  And the circle of life (are you picturing The Lion King scene with baby Simba) repeats it self with Olivia.

You can't compare anything to being a mother.  Creating life in your own body is just insane, alien-esque and amazing at once.  And then trying to raise your child is just such a fucking hard thing to do.  It really, REALLY sucks so much of the time.  Like when she cries for no reason and only wants you in the middles of the night.  Or when she deliberately pees all over the couch right after you washed the covers an hour ago.  Or when she looks you straight in the eye and dumps all the food.  But then your kid does something that makes up for it 150% - like smiling at you or yelling "hug" and giving you a ferocious hug.  Or she makes you laugh by saying "Wind tickles!  Silly wind."  WTF, why is she so cute??

She is my everything.

But seriously, give it up for all the dedicated, hard-working moms out there.  They make the world go 'round.

(I want another baby).

Random

Shut eye during the day is making me lose sleep at night.

I love it when I can identify an actor's voice while narrating a commercial.

Something that I've started to notice on people that I wish I hadn't. Armpit skin. It looks like a vajaje.

Pain Relief

Can I take some motrin? I just had a beer. My shoulder kills.

Paging Dr. Internet. I'm sure it will tell me I have a flesh eating disease and avoid taking the meds. Eff it. Medicate 2012!

Why I was Missing

It was a simple reason, really. Mr. Ho was in California for work and I did not announce it for fear of an internet stalker who would murder me in my own home. Whilst he was gone, I had to be the single parent. It was do-able but shitty. My in-laws are also visiting my SIL down under so I also had to answer their ever-ringing office line to schedule patient visits.

Side note: Sometimes my own anxiety makes me SMH. I had a random throbbing pain in my left arm. It was probably nothing but it made me think of how it can be a sign of a heart attack. Which led me to think, what if I had a heart attack and it was just me and Olivia at home? Which led me to think, what if I died in my sleep? Or what if I had an aneurysm and just died instantly? What would Olivia do? How long would it take for someone to notice? OMG, how long would she cry? She would be so lonely. So sad. So hungry. Would have a huge diaper. The thought of it right now makes me go into panic-mode.

ANYWAY. I am still living, praise be to God.

As soon as Mr. Ho returned, my parents drove up here for Thanksgiving. This was another whirlwind of taking them out and celebrating the holidays. It was a wonderful time.

Olivia is so cute these days. She has a got an ear for music. And she has picked up the words "cool" and "happy." Not necessarily in context, but in babbles.

I'm back! And ready for Christmas!! Hello, readers! I've missed you!

Thought

I would make the best Catholic. I love to follow the rules and feel guilty very easily. Even my good Catholic friend said I would be.

I Enjoy

The word THUNDERSNOW.

Quote

Not much of a quote person, but i really like this...

Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day!

Go ahead, I bet you can name at least 5! Even one thing is something to be grateful for.


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Update on Past Entries

1. Olivia is still sick. She has a cold, I think. Coughing, sneezing, congestion :(

2. Pinterest is awesome! Everyone sign up!

Reason

I'm really into looking at, coveting, dreaming about, wanting all these pretty shiny things because it's a distraction. Clothes, bags, shoes, jewelry, celebrities... It's my way of escaping from everyday life.

I'm not very good at dealing with pain in the physical and emotional sense. When the problems directly involve me, I sort of shut down.

I remember when I was in elementary school, my dad (he worked like 5 am-10 pm every day) was taking a bath. And I guess my mom found him unable to move his body? To this day I'm not sure what it was. A mini stroke? The ambulance came and I turned on the tv. My mom yelled at me. How could I watch tv when dad was in so much pain?

Because I couldn't deal. I could lose myself in the tv show and pretend like dad wasn't hurting.

Not the most healthy way in dealing with things.

I've never lost anyone close to me. That is my biggest fear.

Edit: Wanted to clarify that I am not "in pain" or any sort right now. That was just more of a side story.


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Back to Reality

I've been snapped back into my reality of being a mommy and a wife. Olivia has a pretty high fever (no other symptoms). Until now, fevers and colds have hardly fazed her. This time, she is not herself. Super fussy, easily frustrated. She had a nuclear meltdown because I told her her cheesestick would have to wait until after her diaper change. We are missing Little Gym just in case it's more than a fever. I predict it will be a long, very long, day.

The fever actually started yesterday. Last night, I went to pick up my car at the dealership. It was getting serviced. Driving home, I had all four windows down, the sunroof completely open and the music on blast. It was SO great. I really miss that.

Well, I better get back to the little one. But I'm going to post two really good recipes first.

Obsessed

Late on the Instagram train but I'm on and I won't get off. Loving it!

Finally!

I just went back and updated all my blogs with their appropriate tags. This blog is starting to become my facebook status updates/twitter messages.

??

Who would buy this??




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Ew

Pure cranberry juice is NASTY!

Car stickers

Remember how I mentioned I like those stick figure car stickers but could never do it myself?

This one made me sad.

It's like there was a dad figure and now what? Divorce? Death?



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Plus

I have a google+ account. I feel like a pioneer! Thank you Mrs. OGDM!


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I

I miss falling asleep to Benadryl.
I hate my pillow.


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Ms Grumpy McGrumperson

That would be me :(
Pity party of one right over here!!


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Allergies

Don't take rash-free skin for granted :(

I was on meds and on the 5th day, I completely broke out in hives. At first I thought it was bed bugs (GOD FORBID) and I prayed it wasn't. Well, my prayers were answered because it was an allergic reaction.

It was terrible for 4 days. It's actually still sort of around on my lip.

The only silver lining? Taking Benadryl at night gives me a FULL night's sleep. No middle of the night waking. I love it.

Unexpected

Is that a tan line I see?!


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