Time

I love my daughter more than anything. There are no words to adequately describe how I feel about her.

That being said, there are some things I miss pre-baby (in no particular order)...

-playing my music super loud in the car
-shopping alone for hours
-having a tan
-working out
-taking naps
-sleeping in
-lazy Sundays
-quality time with my husband
-staying out past bath/bed time
-making plans and keeping them
-being able to leave the house at the drop of a hat
-watching a movie from beginning to end
-adult conversation
-taking trips

The key component in all of these things? TIME. Time for myself, time for others. My time is usurped by my baby. Every decision I make is dependent on her. There is nothing that's just about me anymore. I know there are many mothers who are not like this. They have a very balanced life or in some cases, more social than family-oriented. But I can't help it. Friends, you know me. I'm super stubborn and very particular about the way things need to be done. I know I'm a control freak! The idea of leaving her under someone's care makes me paranoid. I could do all of those things that I just listed, but at this point, I'd rather be pale, flabby, and boring. At least Olivia finds me funny and loveable!

I'm sure I will loosen up a bit and relax. In time.