You have a baby. In a bar.

Once you get married, people will immediately start asking you, "so when are you having a baby?"  Your father may already be picking out trampolines for their backyard because they never did that with you as a kid.  Your father-in-law has designated your future "weekly date night" with the husband so they can have the kids for the night.  Your mother and mother-in-law, God bless them both, will ask you when they can be grandmothers consistently and constantly.  One of them will suggest propping your legs up on the wall for about one hour after intercourse to make sure those swimmers stay in there.  The other may tell you to get off the pill and use the pull-out method, as folks have used that method for hundreds of years.  Yes, these are all true stories.  

I LOVE babies.  I love their smell, their smiles, their fat rolls, their cries.  I think I was put on this earth to be a mother.  I'm a natural worrier and a nagger.  I know the second I find out I'm pregnant, I will be buying out the parenting section at Borders and typing out notes.  And pasting lists upon lists on my refrigerator, walls, bathroom doors, anywhere with space.  In my dreams, I'd love to have five children.  I love the idea of such a strong support system in the future.  

One of my favorite shoot-the-shit moments with Mr. Ho is throwing around baby names.  We have to be really careful to pick out a solid first name, because our last name is... so awesome, duh.  And yes, we do have a few that we love.

I always thought I'd have kids early, like 23-24 years old.  This was when I was in my teens and my twenties felt like decades away.  But I'm 27 and yeah, I could be a mother now, but the closer this reality hits, the more scared I'm getting.

I try to be an optimist, but have a tendency to lean to the side of pessimism from time to time so I won't get disappointed.  Mr. Ho hates that.  Negativity is his sworn enemy.  But just the thought of being responsible for a life...  For being responsible for teaching them and molding them into being good people.  Every parent, no matter the race, age, income, all want the same thing - to raise their children to be honest, successful, kind, people.  How do you do that?  Especially when this world is falling apart and on the verge of blowing up.  But honestly, do you think the parents of murderers, gang-bangers, and sociopaths planned their child's wayward path?  Something went wrong.  How do you control that?  

I believe life is already mapped out for us.  I believe God already knows everything and everyone that will impact our lives.  That even though we have free will, it's still pre-destined for us to make those choices.  I know I can't be scared of living.  I know nothing will compare to seeing your child born, to hold your child, to love your child.  And I will definitely be barefoot and pregnant sooner than later, but I'm still scared.  I will try my best, more than my best.  I just hope it's good enough.  

Anyway, my fans have been clamoring for the return of FIVE FUN FACTS.  The original intent of this feature was for you to get to know me, but it became a rehashing of my childhood.  Time to focus!  So here are five things you wanted to know about me:

1.  I was pseudo-OCD at one point in my life where I had to do everything in 3's.  That stopped obviously.

2.  I have never broken a bone.  Knock on wood.  

3.  When I was young, I wanted to take jazz lessons but my mom refused because she thought jazz was for hussies.

4.  Remember PE testing in gym class?  My best test was the Sit + Reach.  And I'd totally scheme with my partner to add 5-10 more reps during the Sit-Up test.

5.  In fifth grade, I met this girl who my friends from my previous elementary school warned was a major bitch.  So my opening line to her was, "You seem really nice. Not at all bitchy like everyone told me."  Slick, real slick.  Needless to say, I was totally on her shit-list after that smooth introduction.

Yes, I know I added some stories of my childhood, but hey, I know what you people want!  And I'm a total people-pleaser.